Family

This time of year, I always think about my family. I get a little sad inside, and I wonder how things might have been different. How my kids might have more family. How I miss spending time with my parents and grandma.

When I was 15, my parents were killed. A drunk driver ran into their car. I've always prayed that they didn't see it coming. That they went quickly. And together. That my Mom and Dad didn't suffer. I don't know if that's how it happened. But that's what I've imagined. Maybe it was my 15 year old self, that needed to believe it.

For a long time, I slept with my parents' pillows. Taking in their scent. Remembering better times. Watching my daddy shave. And then, put on his cologne. Watching momma carefully comb her hair. Not a single hair, out of place. Remembering all the laughter that came out of our home. How my momma magically moved around our kitchen. Creating the most amazing meals.

Some of my favorite memories, are of our entire family sitting around our little living room together. My daddy reading to us, my momma playing with my hair, my little brother working on one of his model cars, and my little sister carefully painting her nails. I miss those times.

I miss talking with my parents. All of us sharing about our days. Praying over our meals. Showing our parents our report cards. The way daddy always rushed in, after work, to give our momma a big kiss. How we'd all rake up the leaves, to spend hours jumping in them. Building snowmen. And making snow angels. All of these things were taken from us, on that tragic day.

After that, my grandma took me. My sister went with my aunt. And my brother, he went to live with my uncle. Our family tried really hard to keep us together. We'd meet a few times a month, for dinner. And a night of fun board games. But it was tough.

Because I lived with my grandma, I got really close to her. I already was close to her. When I was little, I spent a lot of time with my grandma. I was the oldest. And I was just super close to her. But for those 3 years that I lived with my grandma, it was magical.

I learned so much from her. About keeping house, cooking, working hard, saving money. The important things. I was raised as a Christian. Grandma and I never missed a Sunday going to church. Never! We never had much. But grandma made everything special.

Every day was special in our house. Grandma would make me breakfast. And as I got ready for school, she'd make me lunch. I always got a note. And now that I think about it, I think my grandma probably wrote notes for my momma. Because my momma had always wrote us notes. And hide them everywhere! In our lunches, books, pockets, pillows.

Most of all, I miss all of our talks. My grandma always had the most wise things to say. She was so positive about everything. Thought only about the good in people. Made something positive, out of all the negative. That was my grandma.

Like I said, we didn't have much. But grandma always made sure, that I had everything I needed. When I graduated from high school, I figured, that I would probably stay in the same small town. Maybe get a job at the county. Live with my grandma.

But she had a different idea. She had saved as much money, as she could. And she sent me off to college. To do better. And be better. Shortly after my 1st semester in college, my grandma past away. I took it so hard. To have the 3 most important people, in my life, pass away, in less than 4 years. It was difficult.

More than any other time of year, I miss them the most now. We're right around their anniversaries. This is also the season for family. Now that my kids are getting bigger, I know that they yearn for their grandparents. It hurts deep in my heart and soul. I wish, that we could just have one day together.

The Angel Lady

The Angel Lady

She was called the Angel Lady for the ornaments she made,

She carved them out of scraps of fir and pine,

They echoed a belief she held from which she never strayed,

That angels are around us all the time.

She first received her calling with a heart consumed by grief,

The year her loving husband passed away,

She found that carving offered her a measure of relief

And it brought a sense of purpose to her day.

And then when Christmas came with all the memories it brings,

And clouds of sadness fell upon her heart,

She carved her husband's likeness with a pair of angel wings,

And magically the clouds began to part.

She fixed it with a piece of string and hung it on the tree,

He always loved the smell of fresh cut fir,

And when she sat beside the tree to carve a bit or read,

She felt his loving presence close to her.

When others saw the ornament, her neighbors and her friends,

They marveled at how lifelike it appeared,

They begged her to consider carving ornaments for them

Of loved ones they had lost throughout the years.

And so her mission started and her reputation spread,

As orders came from cities far and wide,

From people who were seeking some remembrance of their dead,

And comfort from the pain they felt inside.

The children were the hardest and it often made her weep,

To carve their childish features in the pine,

But late at night a voice would reassure her in her sleep

That angels were around them all the time.

And one day she received a special letter in her box

From a boy whose family dog had passed away,

She thought about it briefly and then asked herself "why not?"

And she started carving pets that very day.

For twenty years she carved until her hands were old and tired

And all her youthful energy was gone,

But her belief in angels always made her feel inspired

And helped her find the strength to carry on.

And then one Christmas day a neighbor found her in her chair,

Her heart no longer sounding its commands,

With shavings all around her, in her clothing and her hair,

Her carving blade still nestled in her hand.

And as the medics came and slowly wheeled her to the door,

Her grieving friends were too distraught to see,

The photograph that rested right beside her on the floor

Or the newest little angel on the tree.

It hung there by her husbands like two birds upon a limb,

A woman carved in wood still wet with stain,

Her head was turned and she was smiling lovingly at him,

And he was looking back at her the same.

Like all the other angels she had carved throughout her days,

The image was so real it chilled the spine,

And engraved upon the bottom was this very simple phrase,

"Angels are around us all the time."
~Bob Lazzar-Atwood

Little Women

Last night, we happened to find Little Women on TV. I've been reading the book to my kids. A few pages every night. And they really seem to enjoy it. Little Women was one of my favorite books, as a kid. I have always wanted to own the movie. I fell in love with it, all those years ago. But I've never found it.

We watched last night. Alejandro and I made pizza, and some snacks. And we all sat and watched. I was pretty shocked that the kids were so interested in the movie. But we all enjoyed ourselves. It looks like, I need to start hunting down the movie. We definitely need it in our home. :)

Pillow Love!

The other night, I was googling a bunch of things. I was looking for some good gift ideas. Things that my kiddos and I could make. Nothing too complicated. But that had a lot of meaning. That's when I came across these cute pillows...

I don't even now where they're from! I've searched and searched. All over the web. With absolutely no luck! I really wanted to buy Alejandro and I each one. For Christmas. Since we don't live in the same house, I thought it would be a great idea. Has anyone seen these beauties? I really want to buy a few. :)

Silent Night

After my kiddos went to bed tonight, I put on some Christmas music, and started wrapping their presents. I can't help but have a smile on my face. Not because of their gifts. But because it's Christmas time!

When the music got to Silent Night, I just had to stop. This is my favorite Christmas song. Since I was little, I've always enjoyed this song. Then I pulled out my bible. And I read for almost an hour.

It's amazing how God works. He sends us something to remind us. About the real reason, for Christmas. I really enjoyed my evening. And wanted to leave you with, my favorite Christmas song.

Dust of Snow

Dust of Snow

The way a crow

Shook down on me

The dust of snow

From a hemlock tree

Has given my heart

A change of mood

And saved some part

Of a day I had rued.

~Robert Frost

Fettuccine Carbonara

Alejandro treated us to dinner last night. It's always a treat to go out, as a family. We don't go out much. So our trip to Applebee's was quite a nice event. My kiddos were so excited. Why wouldn't they be? Yummy dinner, crayons, and mini desserts. Alejandro treated himself to a yummy steak. He works incredibly hard. All the time. It was nice to see him really enjoy his dinner. Me? I tried the Fettuccine Carbonara.

It was heaven sent! I'd recommend it to anyone. And everyone. Just keep in mind, it's very strong in garlic and onions. But if you enjoy Italian food, you'll definitely enjoy this! I sat and ate, until I couldn't eat any more! Even my kiddos tried it. And loved it! But then again, we eat a lot of veggies at home. Yum! Just looking at this picture, makes me want to go dig into my leftovers. :)

Lucy

Recently, I watched a special on Lucy. It was on PBS. One of their specials, that they play during their telethons. And I really fell in love with it! I've always been a fan of I Love Lucy. I remember watching it with my momma and grandma. I Love Lucy was one of our favorite shows. And when I'm feeling sad, I watch an episode.



It always makes me happy. Lucy just has a gift. And watching that special, it made me appreciate Lucy even more. The tragedy that seemed to be her personal life. All the struggles that she went through. It makes me appreciate her art and talent even more!

Crafting with Sticks

I've seen this picture all over the place! And I'm falling in love with this idea. Can you just imagine these candles, sprinkled around your Thanksgiving table? Heavenly! I can even see them lined up on our front windowsill.

I didn't find the original post. But how hard, can these be to make? I need to search in our yard for some sticks. Maybe take a quick trip to the Dollar Tree. They always have a bunch of neat glass containers. And I've got my gluegun. I think I've found my "Nap time" craft for the week. :)

Love This Coat!

Lately, I've been really drawn to the color red. There's just something so royal and rich, about the color red. I'm still on the search for the perfect red scarf. But last week, when I saw these pictures, I was instantly in love!

Look at this jacket! I just love the shape of it. And the color. That gorgeous red color. Do you see that belt? I wonder if I can find something similar. You know, in my price range.

Let's take a closer look. I don't follow the royals. But I do have to say this, I'm in love with Kate's style! If only I could find these items, around here. And in my price range. I've definitely got a few items on my "Wish List." A red jacket, a red belt, and a red scarf. It just melts my heart!

The Care Bears Movie

This morning, I got up early. With the hopes of getting ready, making breakfast, and getting my kids ready...before 8AM. On a Saturday. I know, I'm crazy! But we had plans, to go to the Farmers' Market. And with that, comes a lot of planning from me. It's tough. Getting 4 kids, under 4, out of the house on time.

Lilah got up around 5:30AM, hungry. So we laid in my bed, as she nursed. And before I knew it, Allison had climbed into bed with us. It was nice to snuggle up with my little girls. We don't get enough hours in the day, to just love each other like this.

I didn't have a TV in my bedroom, until Mother's Day. Since we moved into our home, we'd only had 1 TV. In the living room. And that was more than OK with me. But I got a TV for Mother's Day. It was a very generous gift.

This morning, it came in handy. As my girls and I were cuddling, we clicked on the TV. And searched for something fun to watch. Why not? I had already showered. And we had some time to just relax. That's when we found The Care Bears Movie.



For 2 hours, the 3 of us laid in bed. Watching this cute movie. I don't know how, but my sons slept through the entire thing! And my daughters LOVED this movie! I'm going to be on the hunt for a copy of this movie. And the second. Good Christmas presents if you ask me.

We don't have cable. But we do have a few digital channels. They're part of basic TV now. We've found a few shows that the kids enjoy, early in the mornings. But I've also noticed that they have some good movies. I'll continue to keep my eye out for some of these family friendly movies.

All day, the girls couldn't stop talking about the Care Bears. I'm sure the boys are wondering about this movie. Maybe it will come out again. And not at 6AM! If you're wondering about this new digit channel, it's This TV. You should definitely see if you can get it. They show so many good movies! And children's shows. :)

My New Favorite Show

Do you ever find a TV show, that you absolutely in LOVE with? I've found mine. On mistake. It's Hart of Dixie. I was flipping through the channels one night, and literally stumbled on the 1st episode.

It might sound corny, but I like the "wholesome" feel of this show. It reminds me of the Gilmore Girls. Or even Life Unexpected. By the way, I miss that show! Why did they have to cancel it? And I never got to see the last 2 episodes. That makes me sad.

But back to the Hart of Dixie. I don't know if I like the characters more, or the southern influence. No lie! It's definitely my new favorite show. I just hope, CW doesn't cancel this show too. Because I'm really starting to enjoy Monday nights. :)

Crackle Nail Polish

I've wanted to try the "Crackle Nail Polish" for over a year now. But I wasn't going to spend close to $10, a bottle for a bottle of nail polish. That's just too much for me. But the idea, of the crackle nail polish, just intrigued me.

I kept looking around. I heard that Sally Hanson was selling their version. It was supposed to be somewhere around $5. But I could never find it. Every time I went to Wal-Mart or Walgreens, I looked for it. With no luck! Then a friend, brought me an Avon book.

This "Mosaic Effects" polish was a new item, for that book. And it was being sold for around $5. A one time deal. So I used my "Monthly Treat Money" on a bottle. I also picked up a fun, fall color. Let me tell you something, this nail polish is fun!

All you do is paint your nails like normal. When they are dry, apply a thin coat of this polish. And it's like magic. I think the darker and brighter nail polishes, make your nails look "Rocker Chic." But if you polish your nails with light or neutral tones, I think this look is just "Chic" and fun! So fun!

If you're anything like me, you're lucky to polish your nails once a week. Life is busy. Especially with 4 kids. Half way through the week, I've been adding this polish to my nails. And it really extends, the life of your manicure. I'm super glad that I bought this polish.

Falling in Love with Scarves

I want to talk about scarves today. My friend has been inspiring me for a long time! When I first met Lola, I was in awe with her collection of winter jackets and scarves. Literally, every day I saw her in school, she had on a new variation. Most of the time, it was just a different scarf, with a neutral jacket.

But Lola always seemed so stylish. Effortless. And chic. Not only were her scarves fun, but so was the way she tied them. Last year, we picked each other, for "Secret Santas," at work. I got an amazing gift from Lola! That was totally above our set price range. And it was wrapped up, so beautifully, in a gorgeous grey and black scarf.

This began my absolute love of scarfs. Alejandro also bought me a gorgeous white scarf. Which I love to pieces. And I must admit, I have a little list going. Of scarves, that over time, I'd like to collect. I think it would be fun! Such a useful thing to buy. By the way, I always stop by the scarf sections at the store. Just to look around.

First up, is my favorite color. Pink. I'd love a pink scarf. Doesn't matter what shade. Just something pink and feminine. It could have a print, or just be plain.

My entire life, I've always wanted a red scarf. To me, they're very "ladylike." Both my grandma, and my mom, wore red scarves. That's how I knew the holidays were coming! I'd see those beautiful red scarves. I'd love a solid, red scarf. It's at the top of my list!

This mustard-y yellow color is gorgeous! I also like this feminine and flow-y fabric. I first seen a mustard colored scarf last year. At Target. I'm still kicking myself for not buying it! It was only $10.

Since I was in college, I've always had this attraction, to this teal-peacock color. It's just so rich! And at the same time, makes me smile. I also really like this style of scarf.

I've also been lusting after a plum-y colored scarf. Or even deep purple. Wouldn't this be a fabulous color? Perfect for late winter. When you're itching for Spring colors.

I'm also a fan of a few prints. Like this herringbone. Really, I'd love a jacket made with this print. But to start with, I'd love a scarf like this. I think it would look nice with my winter coat, which is black.

And plaid. Any type of plaid really. But this pattern in particular. Not the actual brand, but this pattern. When I was in college, I had a scarf with this print. But I let my roommate use it one night, and never seen it again. :(

The one scarf that I've been hunting down, since my college days, is a peacock scarf. I just love the feathers. There's something majestic and magical about peacock feathers. The only ones I find, are $45 and higher. Really out of my price range, at the moment. Has anyone seen something similar?

Lastly, a little leopard print scarf. So out of character for me! But I think it would be fun to wear. :) Just a little spice. When you're a mommy, sometimes you forget about things like that.

I have 3 scarves. I love them to pieces! And I hope to grow my collection, over the years. I'm someone that enjoys fun things. It doesn't have to be expensive. Just fun, and somewhat useful. Now I just need to learn, all the fun ways to tie them. :)

I Remember That Feeling...

My good friend, Emmers, is due a month from today. I remember that feeling. And I remember it well. I'm a mommy of four. And was pretty much pregnant from October 2006, until December 2009. It was crazy! Don't get me wrong, I'd never, ever regret my kids. They're my entire life. And I just couldn't imagine living without them. But that last part of pregnancy, is tough.

Lola and I, thoughtfully threw Emmers a Baby Shower early. We didn't want her to be miserable. We wanted her to enjoy, every single part of this amazing experience. It's really a miracle. A blessing. Something that should be celebrated. We all enjoyed ourselves so much. Mostly due to this gal. She really is a blessing. Straight from God! The best friend anyone could ever ask for.

I'm praying every day for Emmers. I pray for a safe delivery for her, and her baby girl. I pray for her and Paul. I know, that they will be amazing parents. But, I know that being a parent, is a tough job. One that we all love. But at times, we all need some help. A few prayers. And some encouragement. At the end of the day, being a parent, is the best thing in the world!

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

I'm a survivor. I'm not ashamed. I was not in the wrong. I was a victim. Today, I'm a survivor. I want to make people aware of this horrible topic. I want to help anyone that I can. And I want to share my story. In hopes, that it can touch, just one life. Can change one person. That I can help save one family.

All month, I'll be wearing purple on Saturdays. I'll dress my 4 kids in purple. And ask anyone who wants to participate, to please support the cause. On Saturdays, I'll be sharing a post about domestic violence. And I hope, by the end of the month, that I'll have enough strength, to share my story.

Like I said, I'm a survivor. I'm very lucky. I have 2 amazing friends, that I was able to finally call for help. Cowboy J and Lola. Without them, I don't think I would have gotten out. They were my total support system. 2 people that I trusted, and loved.

My relationship didn't start like this. No. We were happy, in love, and college sweethearts. Newly married. But soon after I got pregnant, with my first son, things changed. And for over 3 years, I lived in hell. My only hope, were my children. Ultimately, it was my kids, that gave me the strength to leave. I just couldn't let them grow up, thinking this was OK. Most importantly, I couldn't let them get hurt.

This is a tough subject. It's hard to open up. It's tough to let people in. You feel ashamed. Almost like it's your fault. And after all of this, I've learned so much. Like how, I was not alone. There are so many people that are dealing with this. In silence. In fear. Let's work together, to end this horrible violence.

We've Found a Show...

Alejandro and I are always looking for a TV show, that we both enjoy. Something fun to watch. And I think we found it! 2 Broke Girls!



Have you seen it? It's hilarious! Both Alejandro and I sit and watch. We laugh the entire time! 2 Broke Girls is that show, for us, that we look forward to watching, every week. :)

Do you have a favorite show? This Fall, there are so many good shows. I'd love to hear what you would recommend.

Emily Noel

I was realizing tonight, most of the YouTube videos that I watch, are Emily Noel's. I'm also a big fan of her blog, Beauty Broadcast. I just like that Emily is approachable. She shares with you, her honest opinions. And is someone who isn't afraid, to try a bunch of different makeup.

Emily is always testing out different makeup. And has such a HUGE collection! Mostly drugstore makeup. I love the she creates such beautiful looks, with drugstore makeup. Emily shares shopping ideas, makeup looks, basics about makeup, hauls, fashion tips, and "Day in the Life." I would really recommend taking a look at Emily's videos. Here's one of my recent favorites.

I Laughed So Hard!

I don't think, that I've laughed this hard, while watching TV, in a very long time! New Girl is such a funny show. I knew that the lead character looked familiar, but I couldn't place her. Hello! Her sister is on Bones! Another one of my favorite shows. :)

Anyway, this show just gets me. It's fun. And unexpected. And for 30 minutes, I just get to forget about life. Just what I need some days. And who doesn't want to laugh? I'm telling you, you need to watch at least one episode. You won't regret it.

The Very Hungry Little Caterpillar

My kids happen to just love to read! They're just like their mommy. :) We take at least 3 trips to the library every week. Each of my kids have their own library card. And a little bag to put their books in. Thanks Lola! We really do love these bags.

We read a lot! We usually start our day with 2 books. Before my kids nap, we read another. And depending on our schedule, we read 1 or 2 books when my kiddos wake up. At bedtime, well we can easily read 3 books. Yes, we like books!

I'm almost 100% positive, that The Very Hungry Little Caterpillar is our favorite. It's gender neutral. Full of fun things. And so colorful! All of my kiddos love this book.

Early in the summer, I found this game. It's such a fun game! The boys enjoy playing it. And the girls love all the bright colors. And the butterfly. :)

My friend Lola was telling me about this craft. It's a felt game. There is a DIY. Somewhere. I just need to find it. Or just make up my own pattern. I think this would be perfect for te girls.

And lastly, this fun cupcake cake. Travis has been hinting, at this being his number 4 cake. :) Just makes me smile! But it does look cute. And yummy!

I told you, this is my kids' favorite book at the moment. I think that it's neat, that we all like the same story. At the same time. Know what I mean? Things like that don't happen very often. But when they do, we totally embrace these things. Do you have a special story in your family?

Carah Amelie

One of my favorite YouTube gurus is Carah Amelie. I just adore her hairstyles. She makes lots of videos. About makeup, fashion, and hair. The hairstyle videos are my absolute favorite! Like this one...



You should really watch a few of her videos. Carah Amelie is always sharing fun ideas. And always has some fun product to share. She also has a great blog!

Lady Antebellum

Lady Antebellum is my absolute favorite! I've always been a country fan. But the first time I heard Lady A, I was in love. Their music just touches me. I don't know what it is. But I just enjoy listening to it.



My dream would be, to get to see them live in concert. Oh, that would be AMAZING! I know that they'll be here, later this Fall. Unfortunately, I don't have the money to go see them. Maybe, I can win tickets or something. If not, I'm positive that they'll be touring for many more years! And I still have their AMAZING CD to listen to. :)

Dinosaur Train

My boys are typical boys, in every sense! Jacob and Travis love cars, tractors, trains, dinosaurs, bugs, snakes, dirt, etc. It shouldn't be a shock, that this is their favorite show!



Yes, Dinosaur Train is a must. But now that my boys are heading to school, they're sad. Why? Not about going to school. Because they are so excited about going to school. But because they are going to be missing Dinosaur Train. I need to figure out a way to record it for them. I'm thinking, they can watch it when they get home. In the afternoons.

Honestly, I'm going to miss snuggling with my little guys. Watching their favorite show. And singing with Buddy. We have to find a way, to make this work!