Family

This time of year, I always think about my family. I get a little sad inside, and I wonder how things might have been different. How my kids might have more family. How I miss spending time with my parents and grandma.

When I was 15, my parents were killed. A drunk driver ran into their car. I've always prayed that they didn't see it coming. That they went quickly. And together. That my Mom and Dad didn't suffer. I don't know if that's how it happened. But that's what I've imagined. Maybe it was my 15 year old self, that needed to believe it.

For a long time, I slept with my parents' pillows. Taking in their scent. Remembering better times. Watching my daddy shave. And then, put on his cologne. Watching momma carefully comb her hair. Not a single hair, out of place. Remembering all the laughter that came out of our home. How my momma magically moved around our kitchen. Creating the most amazing meals.

Some of my favorite memories, are of our entire family sitting around our little living room together. My daddy reading to us, my momma playing with my hair, my little brother working on one of his model cars, and my little sister carefully painting her nails. I miss those times.

I miss talking with my parents. All of us sharing about our days. Praying over our meals. Showing our parents our report cards. The way daddy always rushed in, after work, to give our momma a big kiss. How we'd all rake up the leaves, to spend hours jumping in them. Building snowmen. And making snow angels. All of these things were taken from us, on that tragic day.

After that, my grandma took me. My sister went with my aunt. And my brother, he went to live with my uncle. Our family tried really hard to keep us together. We'd meet a few times a month, for dinner. And a night of fun board games. But it was tough.

Because I lived with my grandma, I got really close to her. I already was close to her. When I was little, I spent a lot of time with my grandma. I was the oldest. And I was just super close to her. But for those 3 years that I lived with my grandma, it was magical.

I learned so much from her. About keeping house, cooking, working hard, saving money. The important things. I was raised as a Christian. Grandma and I never missed a Sunday going to church. Never! We never had much. But grandma made everything special.

Every day was special in our house. Grandma would make me breakfast. And as I got ready for school, she'd make me lunch. I always got a note. And now that I think about it, I think my grandma probably wrote notes for my momma. Because my momma had always wrote us notes. And hide them everywhere! In our lunches, books, pockets, pillows.

Most of all, I miss all of our talks. My grandma always had the most wise things to say. She was so positive about everything. Thought only about the good in people. Made something positive, out of all the negative. That was my grandma.

Like I said, we didn't have much. But grandma always made sure, that I had everything I needed. When I graduated from high school, I figured, that I would probably stay in the same small town. Maybe get a job at the county. Live with my grandma.

But she had a different idea. She had saved as much money, as she could. And she sent me off to college. To do better. And be better. Shortly after my 1st semester in college, my grandma past away. I took it so hard. To have the 3 most important people, in my life, pass away, in less than 4 years. It was difficult.

More than any other time of year, I miss them the most now. We're right around their anniversaries. This is also the season for family. Now that my kids are getting bigger, I know that they yearn for their grandparents. It hurts deep in my heart and soul. I wish, that we could just have one day together.

The Angel Lady

The Angel Lady

She was called the Angel Lady for the ornaments she made,

She carved them out of scraps of fir and pine,

They echoed a belief she held from which she never strayed,

That angels are around us all the time.

She first received her calling with a heart consumed by grief,

The year her loving husband passed away,

She found that carving offered her a measure of relief

And it brought a sense of purpose to her day.

And then when Christmas came with all the memories it brings,

And clouds of sadness fell upon her heart,

She carved her husband's likeness with a pair of angel wings,

And magically the clouds began to part.

She fixed it with a piece of string and hung it on the tree,

He always loved the smell of fresh cut fir,

And when she sat beside the tree to carve a bit or read,

She felt his loving presence close to her.

When others saw the ornament, her neighbors and her friends,

They marveled at how lifelike it appeared,

They begged her to consider carving ornaments for them

Of loved ones they had lost throughout the years.

And so her mission started and her reputation spread,

As orders came from cities far and wide,

From people who were seeking some remembrance of their dead,

And comfort from the pain they felt inside.

The children were the hardest and it often made her weep,

To carve their childish features in the pine,

But late at night a voice would reassure her in her sleep

That angels were around them all the time.

And one day she received a special letter in her box

From a boy whose family dog had passed away,

She thought about it briefly and then asked herself "why not?"

And she started carving pets that very day.

For twenty years she carved until her hands were old and tired

And all her youthful energy was gone,

But her belief in angels always made her feel inspired

And helped her find the strength to carry on.

And then one Christmas day a neighbor found her in her chair,

Her heart no longer sounding its commands,

With shavings all around her, in her clothing and her hair,

Her carving blade still nestled in her hand.

And as the medics came and slowly wheeled her to the door,

Her grieving friends were too distraught to see,

The photograph that rested right beside her on the floor

Or the newest little angel on the tree.

It hung there by her husbands like two birds upon a limb,

A woman carved in wood still wet with stain,

Her head was turned and she was smiling lovingly at him,

And he was looking back at her the same.

Like all the other angels she had carved throughout her days,

The image was so real it chilled the spine,

And engraved upon the bottom was this very simple phrase,

"Angels are around us all the time."
~Bob Lazzar-Atwood

Little Women

Last night, we happened to find Little Women on TV. I've been reading the book to my kids. A few pages every night. And they really seem to enjoy it. Little Women was one of my favorite books, as a kid. I have always wanted to own the movie. I fell in love with it, all those years ago. But I've never found it.

We watched last night. Alejandro and I made pizza, and some snacks. And we all sat and watched. I was pretty shocked that the kids were so interested in the movie. But we all enjoyed ourselves. It looks like, I need to start hunting down the movie. We definitely need it in our home. :)

Pillow Love!

The other night, I was googling a bunch of things. I was looking for some good gift ideas. Things that my kiddos and I could make. Nothing too complicated. But that had a lot of meaning. That's when I came across these cute pillows...

I don't even now where they're from! I've searched and searched. All over the web. With absolutely no luck! I really wanted to buy Alejandro and I each one. For Christmas. Since we don't live in the same house, I thought it would be a great idea. Has anyone seen these beauties? I really want to buy a few. :)

Silent Night

After my kiddos went to bed tonight, I put on some Christmas music, and started wrapping their presents. I can't help but have a smile on my face. Not because of their gifts. But because it's Christmas time!

When the music got to Silent Night, I just had to stop. This is my favorite Christmas song. Since I was little, I've always enjoyed this song. Then I pulled out my bible. And I read for almost an hour.

It's amazing how God works. He sends us something to remind us. About the real reason, for Christmas. I really enjoyed my evening. And wanted to leave you with, my favorite Christmas song.

Dust of Snow

Dust of Snow

The way a crow

Shook down on me

The dust of snow

From a hemlock tree

Has given my heart

A change of mood

And saved some part

Of a day I had rued.

~Robert Frost

Fettuccine Carbonara

Alejandro treated us to dinner last night. It's always a treat to go out, as a family. We don't go out much. So our trip to Applebee's was quite a nice event. My kiddos were so excited. Why wouldn't they be? Yummy dinner, crayons, and mini desserts. Alejandro treated himself to a yummy steak. He works incredibly hard. All the time. It was nice to see him really enjoy his dinner. Me? I tried the Fettuccine Carbonara.

It was heaven sent! I'd recommend it to anyone. And everyone. Just keep in mind, it's very strong in garlic and onions. But if you enjoy Italian food, you'll definitely enjoy this! I sat and ate, until I couldn't eat any more! Even my kiddos tried it. And loved it! But then again, we eat a lot of veggies at home. Yum! Just looking at this picture, makes me want to go dig into my leftovers. :)

Lucy

Recently, I watched a special on Lucy. It was on PBS. One of their specials, that they play during their telethons. And I really fell in love with it! I've always been a fan of I Love Lucy. I remember watching it with my momma and grandma. I Love Lucy was one of our favorite shows. And when I'm feeling sad, I watch an episode.



It always makes me happy. Lucy just has a gift. And watching that special, it made me appreciate Lucy even more. The tragedy that seemed to be her personal life. All the struggles that she went through. It makes me appreciate her art and talent even more!